Hi!

It's 5.30 here in the States right now and I'm feeling awesome! I'm really starting to get in to this life and feel good here. I'm starting to see the good things in America and I'm trying to smile all the time and to be happy for being here. And ofcourse, every morning when the alarm goes on I wonder why the fuck I'd spend my time here and get up so early but as soon as I've put some clothes on and trown some water in my face to get some energy I'm back on track and ready for a new day here in the country. I listen to music to make my days seem even a little extra awesome "which btw is a very good advice for you with homesickness". Go out, feel the lovely air tickling  your skin, listen to your favourite song and everything will be good again!

 

When I get to school I always go to my class and are always like 20 minutes early. Why? Well, I guess because I'm me. I need a lot of time, lol. And at 7.20 when the school starts and the bell rings, the woman from the office starts to talk "Goodmorning Battlefield Bobcats, today it's (date) (day), let's say the pledge of allegiance". And everybody stands up, holds their right hands on their chests and reads at the same time. (I don't read btw, first of all because I don't know it, second because I'm not an american citizen and my homeroomteacher told me I don't have to read it since this is not my homecountry). After that, the woman from the office tells us in the speakers about the announcements and thins that's happening. 

 

For example at 9/11 they turned on a video on the TV (which btw we have in every classroom) and they showed os a video about what happened and we could hear people's voices and that they're worried and everything. But besides that, it wasn't really something big in the school. Well, everybode worn something blue, red or white but no one really talked about it. 

 

Another example of video they've shown is a TEXT&DRIVE video. Every year, 100 000 of all the car accidents happens because people are texting and driving. And since you can be 16 here and drive they're encouraging the students that they shuld wait with the texting until you pull over.

 

So today I had Spanish 1 hour. At 8.20 the bell rang and everybody rushed out to go to their second classes. My Art class is just a few doors down the hallway so I didn't really have to rush. And then I had Art from 8.26 - 10.02 or something and then I had lunch. Early lunch I know! I have a friend from my art class that I eat with on Purple days (which I had today).

 

At 10.20 we have to leave the cafeteria and go to our classes. So after lunch I had Computer Art. I sat and texted with Disa during the whole class today, lol, I'm a badass aren't I? But I like my Computer Art class because we're learning how to deal with photoshop and all the tools and everything so that's pretty cool actually. Maybe I can create a cool header for my blog later :D

 

After my Computer Art class I had English which is the class I unlike the most! Today the teacher had switched seats so that I didn't have to sit with the retards, which I really appreciated. But even if the students were nice the class would still be boring. First, because I really like writing and I love to use cool adjectives and mix my language so it's nice. But without knowing all the words since it's in english it's so hard and it feels like I'm writing my explanations and everything like a freshmen or 8th grader. I think the teacher likes me though so I hope she understands I can't be perfect XD

 

After school today I met my swedish friend Amanda in the cafeteria. She came with me to Coach Trowbridge were I left the salecards I've got to sale in my neighborhood to get some money for the cross country team. But since I'm not joining them anymore I had to return them. 

 

After that me, Amanda and her friend drove to a coffeeshop where we had some food and coffe and just chatted. It was very nice actually and they seem to be very nice people! Tomorrow I have US history so I'll have class with Amanda then. I love to talk swedish and nobody understands xD 

 

Now I'm home, I've skyped with Disa and I'll do some homework. Tomrrow I have a quiz in Spanish which seems to be veeeery easy since I did that like 3 years ago. 

 

I just want you to know that I'm really settling in here in this american life and I love it. I feel like a part of this place and right now I can't imagine leaving it. It's a big part of my heart, even though I've had some really tough times. But I knew that ofcourse it's going to be hard in the beginning, you just have to go through it and it will get easier by the time. I'm so proud of myself and sometimes I just have these moments where I pause the time and think about it. How many people can actually leave everything they have, all the safetyness, their family and their friends to move somewhere else, something completely different where you have no idea what it is. You have to force yourself to trust you own decisions, to trust strangers. When you don't know anyone, force yourself to go to someone and ask if you can sit with them. Getting up extra early to make a schoollunch or make yourself breakfast. Ask someone for their number or if they want to hang out. Ask someone for help. Try to figure out what decision is the best without having your friend's or your mom their who can support you. 

I'm so freaking proud of myself, that I can handle this. I've moved to a different country, alone, started on a random school without knowing anyone, I've ran up to a girl to tell her I'm Swedish too, I've forced myself to keep running with the team when I felt my legs was gonna torn apart, I've gotten used to say "Hi How are you?"  and I've followed my cousin Jonas device and kept a notebook with me all the time where I've written down words I've never heard before. I've sent a mail to my counsler, without my mom's help, and asked to change subjects. I've started to cry, not knowing why, started to plan how to get home again but forced myself to stay for one week, just to see if it gets better. Which it did. 

 

This is not an easy thing to do. It's the hardest thing I've ever done in my entire life, and the hardest thing that I'll probably do in my life. In two months I've gone through so much things, and I've grown, Oh I've grown. Things that made me sweaty, made my legs start shaking and my face turn into red before is a piece of cake and doesn't even bother me anymore. It's something normal. A week ago I would never had said this. But I'm so f*cking excited to see what this year will give me. I'm excited to challenge myself even more and experience more of this country. Sweden is my home, my temple, my safetiness, but I will spend my entire life there later. This is now, and only now, and I gotta start think about doing something adorable about it before it's to late.